Men’s Emotional Pain

We talk about about why we fail to see the emotional pain that men live with every day.  Beliefs can tie us in knots and render us blind to the struggles of others when we fail to look more closely with an open mind and heart.  Documentary filmmaker Cassie Jaye’s most notable film “The Red Pill” forced her to re-examine her beliefs about the Men’s Rights Movements

She started her journey with one notion in her mind only to discover the very real pain and suffering that men experience when they are abused and mistreated, directed into dangerous work, or facing violent circumstances.

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The statistics around the dangers of life for men show that: 1 in 6 are sexually assaulted, they are more likely to experience violent assaults, are 93% more likely to die on the job than women, account for 73% of suicides, and are given longer prison terms for same/similar crimes than women. It seems that these real issues are overlooked and under-reported.  Men are told to “suck it up”, “get over it”, “stop whining” and are shamed into tolerating violence even in their own intimate relationships.

I wonder about these frightening numbers and how they are impacting the men in our lives. I wonder about the fathers, brothers, siblings, spouses and friends who are struggling.  I wonder why these statistics are not better known.

Toronto Psychologist, Dr. Yaacov Lefcoe brings a deep understanding of these issues from his readings, reflections, and clinical practice.  He will help us to navigate these concepts and learn about what the drivers of involvement are for the men who join these groups.

Toronto Psychologist, Dr. Yaacov Lefcoe brings a deep understanding of these issues from his readings, reflections, and clinical practice.  He will help us to navigate these concepts and learn about what the drivers of involvement are for the men who join these groups.

Today we will try to gather information and be thoughtful as we try to figure out what is happening to the men in our society who are struggling, feeling hurt, alienated and distressed.  Without this, we fail men who are struggling with their identity and this can lead to further failures at building healthy and meaningful relationships.

We also have evidence of how dangerous these beliefs can become when they go too far

On April 23, 2018, 25 year old Alek MInassian drove a rented van down Yonge Street in North York, Ontario killing 10 people and injuring 16 in a deadly vehicular attack.  Upon apprehension by police, Minassian began demanding that the officer shoot him “in the head!”  This did not occur and instead he was taken into custody by a level-headed officer on the scene.  Following the attack a Facebook post revealed that he identified himself as an “incel” or involuntary celibate.  His anger during the attack was largely focused on female pedestrians, who he perceived had rejected him and other “incel” men.

This type of event leaves victims, survivors and community devastated and further disenfranchises men who are legitimately having difficulty fitting in and trying to establish themselves in a satisfying way in their lives, communities, relationships.

We need to better understand these issues and develop healthier and more promising roads for men to take while they develop and mature into the best they can become.

Links & Resources:

 

Access “Compassion Fatigue Resiliency & Recovery” with Dr. Anna Baranowsky & Dr. J. Eric Gentry.  You can find the audio recording at:

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